hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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