Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
