you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
