I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
