Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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