dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
