She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You're like the curious george of whores
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
