i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
