yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
