I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize