My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
