I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
