belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize