Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
