State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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