Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize