I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
