M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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