I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
