I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
