Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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