1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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