Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
