i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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