Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
