so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
false alarm, still single
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