while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize