textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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