You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
