Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
