A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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