Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
