This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
