I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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