physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
