I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
