Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
