I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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