Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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