So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
