i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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