Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
