That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this just has baby written all over it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
