Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize