i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
bring money and cleavage
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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