i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
