You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
