Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
