I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
