when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
