I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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