and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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