im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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