Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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