Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
