On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
