This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
