if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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