Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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