Porn is love you can see.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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