i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
