if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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