Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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