You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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